Apparently the average Australian checks their phone 60 times a day and spends nearly 6 hours every day looking at it.

It makes me wonder if Jesus had chosen to visit Martha and Mary today whether Luke would have recorded the visit something like this: Jesus and his disciples entered a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by the alerts on her phone and the latest memes. Well, there was also the catering to organize on-line, and all those emails, they don’t just answer themselves you know! Martha said to Jesus, “Lord do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? She’s even ghosting me. Tell her to help me”. Jesus answered her, “Martha, Martha, the average Australian spends 6 hours a day on their phone, and you are well above average. Why not put it on Airplane Mode for a while and fly with me instead?

By my reckoning, 6 hours a day is 42 hours a week, is 3 months of the year! That’s a big hunk of life.

A middle-aged woman has a heart attack and it leads to a near death experience while she’s on the operating table. She finds herself standing in front of God so she asks: “Is this it?”

God says: “Oh no. You have another 30-40 years to live.”

When she recovers she decides to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, some liposuction, a breast augmentation, tummy tuck and have her hair dyed. She figures since she’s got another 30 or 40 years she might as well make the most of it. She walks out of the hospital after the last operation and immediately gets hit by an ambulance.

She arrives in front of God again and says: “I thought you said I had another 30 or 40 years?”

God replies: “Is that you Shirley? Sorry, I didn’t recognise you!”

Okay, so it’s a pretty ordinary joke with very dodgy theology. But, it gets me thinking. What if we swap things around? If we are made in the image of God as the Bible says we are, when people see us do they recognise God?

This is the go-to text for any mission director worth his – or her – salt. The title given to this passage in my Bible is: ‘The Mission of the Seventy’. Although, there’s a little footnote that says: ‘Other ancient authorities read seventy-two’. Seventy, or seventy-two? Who’s counting? Well, us, it seems. At least that’s what we’re tempted to do when it comes to mission. The harvest is plentiful, but empty is the pew! Is that what mission is about, then? Well, let’s not discount that altogether, but I don’t hear much counting happening in this mission text.